The Heuchter-Teuchter Happening


So, the wedding.

I was sweating a bit, long before the arriving at the venue (and yes, I know it wasn't my wedding) - there is a sort of pressure attached to being The Token Lesbian Couple (TM) at a straight (and a wee bit Catholic-filled) wedding: how much eye-contact/hand-holding/supportive gesturing is appropriate and won't send the teuchters running wide-eyed back to the hills? I'm not usually that bothered- indeed I see it as a challenge- but when the bride is the best mate of your date it wouldn't be good form to trample over other people's feelings, otherwise the sharpened elbow and the rapid dumping might ensue...

I needn't have bothered being so well behaved: as soon as a kilted groom and picture-perfect bride appear, even dry-humping, leather-clad, whip-wielding lesbians would be ignored in a sea of "awwwww"... Which is, of course, perfectly right. [Not that we were any of those things, I might add - I was somewhat soberly wearing a suit and crumpled hastily-chosen shirt and my date was wearing a suit and, well... my ironed well-chosen shirt: I'd arrived at her flat to find her wide-eyed in panic having had a bit of a fashion faux-pas and offered the shirt off my back- which did rather suit her, I must admit - in order that she might feel a tad more comfortable. It wasn't just her best friend's wedding, but the first wedding she had ever attended. Lucky... In fact, hereafter I may well refer to her as The Happy Enviable One or "Theo" for short: you shall see why in a paragraph or so... ]

The ceremony itself was brief and flawless, carried out overlooking the magnificent Princes Street and the sternly domineering EdinburghCastle and all went well. The table we were sat on for the wedding breakfast had a pleasant mix of friends and well-behaved children... as well as the token amusing drunk. Apparently one of the first things she said to The Happy Enviable One was, "I like your name. I've got a criminal record..." There really is no answer to that...

A little later, Theo decided to chance her arm and -armed with a bucket load of charm - asked if we could maybe take some pictures from the roof terrace. The waiter looked puzzled and went to fetch the manager, who in turn looked puzzled and went to fetch a member of staff to escort us up.

It would seem that "Roof Terrace" is something of an exaggeration. Roof would be more accurate. After climbing for what seemed like ages, we arrived at a very dodgy moss-and-dead-pigeon-covered area of slender walkways and Victorian railings. The final dropping iron ladder proved a little too much for me (I turned white and thought of the word "plummet" - I couldn't help myself) so the intrepid Theo took my camera to take some shots- see above. Well worth it, apparently - even if it did mean we missed the cutting of the cake. Oops.

The evening ceilidh was all a ceilidh should be - filled with dram-quaffing kilties and much haphazard dancing in evidence. We did pop out for a "romantic" walk through Edinburgh on a mercy mission to buy fags for the bride and detoured via a pub for a private pint away from the masses, but it was all far more fun than I had expected. It may even have helped dispel a little of my longstanding dissatifaction with the whole wedding mallarkey. Well, maybe...

In other news I am still doing battle with the GTCS (CUNTS!!!!) and am plugging away at job applications. Not to put too fine a point on it, I am running out of money. All donations gratefully received.

Speaking of which, I must give special mention to Freecycle. Friday evening, in the pissing rain Theo and I collected a rather fab TV stand for free, gratis and nothing. It was a struggle and fight (not helped by the fact we were hurting ourselves laughing at our crappy removal skills and bloody awful luck to be not only caught in the pissing rain, but also having to negotiate a broken bloody lift to my flat!) but well worth it: I've got £70 worth of non-shoogly tv stand to support my electricals and I didn't have to pay a penny.

I wonder if people freecycle food/rent/council tax too?

2 comments:

un-hobohomo said...

Just out of interest, what building is that photo taken from? There's so many moody dramatic skies at the moment in Edinburgh, it's just beautiful. I moved into a flat that overlooks the castle (hoorah!) and every evening I go and look out the window and am greated by a different view because of the colour of the sky, or the way the clouds are formed. It's fascinating to me.

The Gripes of Wrath said...

It was from the roof of the Royal Overseas League... Congrats on the new flat btw. Great to have a roof over your head, isn't it?!