Birthday Blues (part 37)

It's coming up to that time of year again... The anniversary of my birth. A week and a half to go, I can hardly wait.

As per usual, I'm not entirely chuffed about it: another marker down, another point of reference to show how much fuck all I've achieved (and it's quite a bit of fuck all, I can tell you). It's not the age thing, so much as every passing year withers out any and all potential I might once have had. My inclination to actually make something of my life is weighed down by all my past "almosts" and "might have beens". At some point, I'll probably stop trying altogether. I'm not convinced I'll be any happier or more content, but I'll be more resigned to my state of perpetual "meh".

All in all, it is pretty depressing stuff. Every birthday from my 18th (where I didn't even get to go to my own party because the venue had already exceeded its capacity by the time I got there, so I went to a nearby pub instead - and saw someone get glassed in the face. I was home by 9:30...) has been a disappointing event. I'm wondering if maybe I can get a some sort of edict or disclaimer from the courts exempting me from birthdays from now on.

So, happy birthday to me (in a bit). Here's my birthday wishlist, should anyone feel as though they really have to conform to the social con of celebrating birthdays...

1. A Badger
2. Cake (with candles and necessary fire extinguisher...)
3. Life sized picture of Ben Nevis
4. An all-weather hat made of Toblerone
5. A time machine (with full MOT and vaccinations included)
6. Chocolate Jacuzzi and snorkel
7. Full Sized Guinea Pig Suit (with detachable cheek pouches)
8. Monkey Butler
9. Alco-Milk (milk flavour)
10. World Peace