Idiopathic ( is not a portmanteau of Idiot and Psychopathic)

M'beloved has not been well at all.

To be more precise, she has been very unwell indeed - headaches that have lasted for weeks on end, nausea, lethargy, disorientation, memory loss... the works, really. Of course, not all symptom came along at once: they have displayed a rather cruel and slow accretion, creeping up in greater force over time until they more or less threaten to take over.

I'll admit that although sympathetic, I haven't always been effusively so, in fact, at times I have been a right mardy old cow (-but then again, I was raised the old fashioned way: the threat of a wallop to the back of the legs with the spiky side of the hair brush if "I don't stop crying right now" and a "pull your socks up" approach that, on reflection, has done me a great deal of harm, actually... but I digress) but that has definitely changed in the light of last week's experience. I am now evangelistically sympathetic - probably to the point of irritation. And here's why.

M' beloved went to the docs last week to get the headaches checked out (after relentless and, frankly, snippy nagging from me to get it sorted). The doc, a new one to the practice, spotted straight away that there was something squiggy with the pupils of her eyes -they were each of different sizes - and made some worrying noises along with an immediate referral to a neurologist. Worrying. Some frantic googling of "unequal pupils" led to some scary home diagnoses. The next days' visit to the neurologist was met with apprehension to say the least.

And justifiably so, as it turns out. The neurologist was brisk in diagnosis and brutal in confirming it: a CT scan and a lumbar puncture would be needed to be sure - but it looks like Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension to him... long term risk of blindness, constant pain that sort of thing if not dealt with....

A lumbar puncture is not a lovely thing. It is a great big spike plunged into your spine. Your spine for fuck's sake! It took the docs eight (8!!!eleventy111!!!!) attempts to get a spinal fluid reading by which time m'beloved pretty much thought that blindness would be a reasonable outcome...

Even after being prescribed pills and being referred to an opthalmologist as well more trips to the neuro guys in the pipeline, M'beloved one is not feeling too crash hot: the after effects of having foot long spikes rammed into your spine 8 times cannot be understimated - a walloping great bruise, dizziness, nausea, tinnitus, a post-puncture headache, muscle strain from the after effects of partial paralyis caused by gallons (seemingly) of lidocaine being injected into her system as well as the side effects of the brain drugs... Oh yes, and the prospect of needing an "LP Patch" whereby blood is injected into each of the original puncture sites because there is a possibility that spinal fluid is still leaking should the headaches not stop (so far, they haven't.).

Anyhow... it has all put my own dizziness and nausea into perspective and I am keeping my fingers crossed that the drugs work and M'beloved doesn't go blind or live in constant pain and might even start feeling a touch better soon.

On an entirely different note - it probably is just me, but is there anyone else out there that thinks Riot Grrrrrl Lite P!nk looks more than a bit like Leticia "Sharon from Eastenders" Dean?

leticia deanPink