A few short thoughts on beer. *

  • Beer dissolves money.
  • Beer causes strange bruises to appear on one's body - for which there is no explanation.
  • Beer can alter the geography of a city and make pavements very uneven indeed.
  • Beer makes one's bladder shrink to that of a small child.
  • Beer alters the dimensions of time so that when you speak there is a time-lag between what you are thinking and what comes out of your mouth.
  • Beer makes a packet of crisps into a satisfying three course meal.
  • Beer alters the dimension of space making the floor both simultaneously nearer and further away.
That is pretty much all I have to say about beer, at the present time. Oh yes, apart from the age-old beer dictum: "never again."

* the exception is Alice Beer: she is merely irritating.


30-Something said...

All very true. But that pint DOES look nice. If a bit watery..

The Gripes of Wrath said...

It certainly does look watery, doesn't it? Which would make it a pint of Tennents, I reckon...

I think I'll take up drinking Guinness again - at least that way it'll seem as though I'm eating as well...

The Gripes of Wrath said...

D'oh! I forgot - I said "never again!" didn't I? Oh well... *grin*