Anxiety is a strange thing. Mine keeps me awake and keeps me constant company. Sometimes it manifests itself in a myriad of displacement activities, other times I sit zombie-like and brood. Currently my anxiety is managing to do all of these at the same time. (Brooding zombie-like displacement is a fine trick to pull off, I can assure you…)
Earlier this week I found a small but strange lump in front of my bladder. Logical me considers that it is most likely some kind of subcutaneous infection and will disappear as mysteriously as it arrived. Anxious me is screaming, “Tumour! Tumour!” and trying very hard make me run screaming around the flat…
The internet is a dangerous thing: type in a few symptoms and you can get an encyclopaedia of ills that match how you feel. Tweak your search terms and you can be dead in a week. Ever since finding this previously uncharted flesh, I have discovered fresh symptoms: tiredness, non-cystitis urinatory urge, non-specific pelvic pain – all of which are making me insomniac with anxiety (and thus increasing the tiredness, of course…)
So, tomorrow I’m going to get prodded by the doctor. Doubtless I will be told it is nothing to worry about and I will get the sense that I have been wasting precious medical time that could have been spent on Mrs Miggins’ near fatal bunions. And then I will have something else to feel anxious about…
The Letter Of The Flaw
40 minutes ago
1 comments:
Then again, the Internet can lull you into believing the best, because you WANT to. I looked up "lower back pain, nausea, tiredness" on the 'net and it assured me that it was just a very bad period. Turns out I was approaching renal failure due to a kidney stone. Had I gone with what the 'net said, I'd be dead now. Caveat Emptor, yes?
(With that said, good luck tomorrow and try not to worry over-much. Doesn't do any good, ya see)
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