Another kick in the teeth

I've got another appointment with the dental surgeon next week. Another couple of hours of periodontal-hell. However unpleasant it may be, that is not the kick in the teeth I mean.

I had an interview, interviewed well - and didn't get the fucking job. Again.

I'm starting to feel like it is personal. There is some sort of vendetta against me. Employers across all of Edinburgh have decided to fuck with my head; "Interview her... look impressed....even tell her she interviews very well... BUT DON'T GIVE HER THE JOB! Bwahh ha ha haaaa!" That sort of thing. I wonder if it is karmic or a pre-destined trial. I start getting superstitious and look for omens and oracles. I turn to wondering if it is a very big "Candid Camera" set-up. I make bargains, deals and compromises to a God I don't even believe in (-in short, I am being driven ever so slightly mad...)

People tell me that the right job is "around the corner"; Theo consoles me-even while I am unattractively blubbering like a tearful whale - and gives me practical (as well as emotional) support; friends even offer money and remind me that they too have had leaner-than-a-well-chewed-chop times.

I'm lucky I have this support-some of it helps, some of it perplexes- but not getting the job still feels like a steel-capped kick in the teeth. My gums hurt...