Every day is different.

I need to be connected to the world again. I feel as though some days I seem to drift further and further away - and then I have to grab myself and haul myself back. It takes effort not to fall off the edge of the world - I haven't made the effort for a while. I need to start again, hand over hand, hefting along my life as though it were some thick rope clinging to a mountain. I need to feel my muscles burn and stretch as I hang on to the world, keeping a tight grip, lifting myself upwards, ever upwards.

Today my hangover has helped connect me with my body - the overcast sky is gentle to my eyes and I could almost kiss it in thanks. I am grateful for running water, clean clothes, clean skin. I just wish I could stick the shower head in my ear and flush out the haziness from my brain. I do have moments of clarity - small and large epiphanies -but I want to focus more and be more focused. It will take time and effort. Small steps.